Have you ever heard Roosevelt's famous quote: Comparison is the thief of joy?
It's one of those things I heard years ago and it's always stayed in the back of my mind. When I compare my life to other things, I try and compare it to where we were 6 years ago. If you need a reminder, we were living in a 2 bedroom apartment in New Bedford, receiving food stamps and on MassHealth. We've worked so hard to get to where we are.
I am so proud of how far we've come but sometimes I find myself still comparing my life to what I see on social media... Two or three time a year trips to Disney, bigger houses, newer cars... it's hard to not be envious at times, but then I remind myself that the only person I want to compare myself to... is myself.
But for some reason, there is one particular person that I can not stop comparing myself to. Our lives are completely different, and not necessarily even where I would want my life to end up, but for some reason, I'm always checking that one particular person's social media.
Some days I admire the clothing and poses of the children, wondering why my kids won't sit for such a great picture. Some days I'm jealous of the fact that they are home all day, even if the kids are not home with them. Some days, I am downright mean in my mind, scoffing at decisions that were made or judging what they post. I don't like the more judgmental thoughts- they're mean, and never in my life have I set out to be mean. So I unfollowed that person.
I didn't do it because of you, I did it because of me. Because I am so in love with my own life that I can't keep looking at someone else's. That I can't keep measuring myself against a ruler I don't actually want.
I need to be selfish and continue to work on my self love, so while I'll be cheering on your life successes from the sidelines, I don't want to see them on every social media platform. We're in such different parts of our lives and I don't think those paths will ever be the same, so for me, I need to focus on my behind the scenes- rather than on your highlight reel.
So, like I said... I'm the problem, not you. And right now, I need to work on me and loving my own life.