So I have a TON I want to write but even thinking about writing it out on paper sucks. It hurts to say it out loud when the words escape my mouth and I don't have to acknowledge them but to have them visually stare at me from my screen.. I'm just not ready for that.
And I guess without preparing, I was prepared for it. The coupons and the stocking up, I planned for the worse without ever imagining it would happen. However, I refuse to be defeated by it. I am better than that and stronger than that and I refuse to be overcome by circumstance. I will remain levelheaded and calm becuase if I'm not I could make the situation even worse and that's not what it's about right now. It's about doing whatever I have to in order to take care of my baby, my home and my family. And you knwo why thats what I'll do? Because that's what moms do for their children. Anything and everything they have to, even if it means standing in line to pick up food stamps or WIC checks. My mom taught me that. No matter how bad things are, they could always be worse and no matter what you want and feel as a mom, your children will always come first.
I could write for hours about how amazing my mom is but even thinking about those paragrpahs is making me tear up. Seriously, all I can say is I love her and she is everything to me. She keeps me grounded when I need to be and tonight she reminded me that a mom is always a mom, no matter how old her children are. I love her with all of my heart and am so lucky that I have her in my life.
I think if I had to sum up my thoughts right now they would be three lessons she taught me while I grew up:
1. I may want, but I will never need.
2. God never gives us more than we can handle.
and, most importantly,
3. It could always be worse.